


"Is that Dick Grayson?"

by hedgebitch



Category: DCU, Teen Titans - All Media Types, Titans (TV 2018)
Genre: Fame, Gen, Road Trips, Secret Identity, not sponsored by ihop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 14:12:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19274956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedgebitch/pseuds/hedgebitch
Summary: Question:How do you tell your sort of girlfriend and the metahuman teens you’ve sort of adopted that you were and still are considered a sex symbol to an entire east coast metropolitan area?Answer:You don’t.





	"Is that Dick Grayson?"

**Author's Note:**

> loosely canon compliant with titans season one! basically, i just desperately wanted someone, _anyone_ to ask "is that dick grayson" or like reference the fact that dick's a Moderately Known person in any way.

They hit the IHOP around two in the morning, but that’s not enough to stop anyone from ordering breakfast, so Dick resigns himself to a halfhearted look of disappointment, and proceeds to let Rachel and Gar bully him into ordering the most excessive stack of pancakes on the menu. Their waitress, unfairly good-humoured considering the hour, laughs at their antics and promises to return with a fresh pot of coffee once she’s got the chef started on their orders.

They haven’t all been together very long, but they’ve spent enough of that time on the road from one place to another that Dick recognizes the routine they fall into. Kory, who, four hours ago, he’d heard a gas station attendant refer to as “all or nothing minus the nothing,” sets about doing minor touch ups to her makeup—after they eat, she’ll fix it with the help of a bathroom mirror, but for now, the reflective napkin holder seems to suffice. 

Rachel does opt for a pre-meal bathroom trip, which hasn’t happened before, but. For the same reason Dick chooses to just hand the kids cash at gas stations rather than ask two traumatized-enough teenagers how puberty’s going and would they like any help with it, he’s not going to question it. 

When their food comes out, Dick discovers that Kory has somehow managed to escape the kids’ menu-related whims unscathed—likely on account of being an alien and, as far as they can tell, not…really needing to eat? This, of course, gives her plenty of time to notice that Dick’s resistance to eating straight whipped cream is constructed entirely for show. He’s pretty sure she’s even about to call him out on it, if that telltale glint in her eyes and her opening mouth are anything to go by, when a snippet of conversation from the only other occupied booth in the restaurant catches them all by surprise.

“Oh, shit, you’re right, he  _ does _ look like Dick Grayson.”

Dick resists the urge to swivel his head around and stare—a futile effort, as it turns out, because while Kory stiffens almost imperceptibly (he wouldn’t have noticed were her knee not pressing against his under the table) and Rachel settles for a half-decent imitation of a deer facing down oncoming traffic, Gar twists a full hundred and eighty degrees, nearly falling off the bench, to look across the restaurant.

Before Dick can decide between admonishing Gar—because really, the kid should be slightly more capable of stealth, even with what little training Dick’s had the opportunity to instill in him—and pulling Kory and Rachel out of fight mode and flight mode, respectively, Gar has turned back to face the table and shovel a forkful of pancake into his mouth.

“They don’t look like bad guys,” he informs them all mid-chew, and Dick sighs internally as well as externally as Gar’s statement is punctuated by a too-loud whisper from across the room.

“Oh my god, my friend from Gotham snapchatted me back, she says it’s definitely him!”

Kory remains concerningly tense next to him, and Rachel appears to have foregone her initial fear for a more general response of confusion.

“Dick,” she asks him slowly, eyebrows scrunched together, “Do you…know them?” 

‘No,’ would be the most accurate answer, but might push Kory the rest of the way into attack mode. ‘Yes,’ would be an outright lie, so he settles on an eloquent, “Sort of?”

Gar chokes on his pancakes and Dick quickly rethinks a) saying anything ever and b) sort-of adopting random teenage vigilantes. 

“Not like that!” he hisses defensively, which, annoyingly, is all it takes to calm Kory down.

He’s just about to marvel at the fact that he’s going to have to explain who he is for the first time…well, probably for the first time since setting foot in Wayne Manor—really, he’d been a little beyond shocked when Rachel recognized him as “the boy from the circus” and Bruce as “that billionaire” but nothing more—when Gar puts two and two together.

“Wait, Rachel said—and you—holy...holy shit, you’re  _ that _ Dick Grayson? Why didn’t you say, dude?”

“Why didn’t I say? How many Dick Graysons below the age of sixty do you think there are?”

“Would anyone like to fill me in on the missing half of this conversation?” Kory asks pleasantly. 

“The sparknotes are Dick is rich and famous and we’re eating at IHOP,” Gar informs her.

“I am neither of those things,” Dick insists, before Rachel helpfully adds on, “And IHOP is a family-friendly establishment with free wifi and unlimited coffee, so watch your heathen tongue.”  
  


Dick sends the others off to the car while he pays the bill. Mostly he does it because he knows it’s Kory’s turn to drive, and he’s hoping the kids will get their ritualistic (and pointless) fight over shotgun out of the way while he finds himself fighting off advances from the hostess. Just this once, it’s got the added bonus of ensuring that he’s the only one around to be embarrassed by the change in conversation across the restaurant—to the biological probability of the kids being his and Kory’s. 

When he finally frees himself from the hostess and walks outside, it’s to see that Kory has pulled the car up front, with Rachel gleefully buckled in on the passenger side. Rather than ordering or manhandling Rachel out, Dick opts for staring sadly at her, gesturing pointedly at the length of his legs, then gesturing towards her. Rachel complies, with limited enthusiasm accompanied by the eyeroll to end all eyerolls, and makes her way to the backseat.

“A valiant effort,” Dick commends her, and she responds with mumbling that sounds suspiciously like “You’re an acrobat, you can  _ squeeze. _ ”

Their IHOP conversation has not yet been forgotten, if the eyes that conspicuously refuse to leave the back of his head for the next ten miles mean anything at all. Even then, the only reason the kids stop staring Dick down is because Garfield goes to take a sip from his water bottle and promptly performs an actual honest-to-god spit take.

“Dick,”  he says, once he’s finished choking and spluttering, with all the terror and import of an emotionally stunted action movie protagonist. “Dick, please tell me Bruce Wayne’s not fucking Batman.”

“Why would Dick’s adoptive father be in a relationship with Batman?” Kory asks, and then her eyes widen as she immediately grasps the same implications Gar’s caught onto.

Dick takes a deep breath in, counts to five, and eases it back out. “I don’t think you understand how badly I want to talk about literally anything other than this.”

Gar takes that for what it is—confirmation. “Jesus Christ. Next you’re gonna tell me Oliver Queen is, I don’t know. Aquaman or some shit.”

**Author's Note:**

> why are they on the road? when does this take place? where are they driving to? all great questions! the answer is i have no earthly clue, and i still don’t really understand the titans timeline, so i'm hoping, dear reader, that neither do you.
> 
> if you're wondering why garfield is the only one who seems to care about this revelation, i _do_ have loose reasoning for that which is that he likes reading about conspiracy theories and wayne family drama on the internet. look we don't know that it's not canon so i will be dying on this particular hill goodnight folks
> 
> i had bullet points with more lines i wanted to get to in this but realized i was on track to writing a full chaptered fic which seemed excessive so here have this quote that never made it in:
> 
> _"He’s got a quite frankly alarming number of texts from Jason on his phone which could indicate a big name Arkham breakout—but could just as likely indicate that Jason’s live texting Bruce’s inability to respond correctly to a surprise drop-in from Selina."_
> 
> anyways hmu on tumblr @[nightflings](https://nightflings.tumblr.com) if you want to peer pressure me into writing more


End file.
